WASHINGTON (Big Hairy News) - Attorney Michael Avenatti announced today that he is representing a woman who claims SCOTUS nominee Brett Kavanaugh sexually assaulted her just two years ago.
"My client is willing to testify under oath that Brett Kavanaugh, sporting makeup and wig to make him appear as a young black man, violently sodomized her with a Wham-O Water Wiggle at a private pool party approximately two or three years ago somewhere in Kentucky or Tennessee," Avenatti told reporters Friday morning.
"Because of the attack, this poor woman has developed a hysterical fear of garden hoses and refuses to shower. Brett Kavanaugh must be held accountable."
Senator Diane Feinstein (RTRD- Ca) called the accusation "the smoking gun we've been waiting for," and called for Kavanaugh's immediate arrest.
More as this story develops.
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